Karen Oates is an Empowerment Expert and Soul Coach.  

Certified as - NLP Master Practitioner and Results Coach and Trained Evolved Leadership Coach

Karen Oates       P. +64 (0)22 354 2319    E. karen@karenoates.com
 Oystercatcher Lane, Matakana, NZ 986

Copyright: Karen Oates 2013. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of this copyrighted material is strictly prohibited

This May Be Confronting

May 1, 2018

There are many definitions of addiction.


A powerful statement about addiction, and one I agree with is:


Addiction is any behaviour in which the individual finds temporary relief or pleasure in - and craves for that reason, despite negative consequences’.


The unfortunate aspect of what we are dealing with when we love someone in severe addiction is that when the negative consequences are horrific for them and those around them, a huge impact is felt and it can be devastating, as we all know.


The thing is, WE ALL HAVE ADDICTIONS, our 'go to thing' when we want to avoid, deny or squash the emotional responses that something externally has created for us internally.


But, given that we all have this tendency, and none more so than for many of us as someone who love an addict with severe addictions (and I speak from personal experience and from the women I talk to everyday and our clients) I have a couple of questions for you:


Are you prepared to look at what you do in avoidance of emotional pain or in what you do to ‘soothe or ease’ that pain, knowing there is only temporary relief and there are long term negative consequences?


Are you prepared to do what it takes to deal with this?


You expect others in addiction to change.


Are you prepared to change?


I ask these questions because I know this:


That nothing changes until you change.


I know that unless you are prepared to take responsibility for your own emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing, nothing will change.


It is always good to have knowledge and understanding about addiction, especially when it impacts us personally. But stop looking for the solution for you to best help those you love, be able to be happy and live a fulfilling life, from inside the problem.


If we all took the focus off the ‘problem’ and brought it back to ourselves and what we can do to empower ourselves, be emotionally responsible and not be beholden to our own emotional distress – what a powerful world we would live in. What a powerful role model and leader we would be. What a great life we could live.


Are you prepared to do that?


If not, why not?

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